We’re all on high alert. Scrambling to figure out how to keep our lives as normal as possible in these challenging times. Mastering new technologies to be able to work from home. Learning how to split our attention between caring for kids now home from school and do our jobs, at the same time. Doing the new “social distancing” dance from six feet away! Washing our hands. Again. And again. And again. Until we understand what it might feel like to be OCD! Stocking up on supplies, whether we need them or not. Better to be prepared! Trying to stay calm while the world around us swirls with chaotic and sometimes contradictory mandates, recommended protocols changing daily. And, all the while wanting to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe from the virus even as we do our best to assist and care for others — but in a manner that doesn’t put any of us at risk!
That’s a tough job!
So how do we keep ourselves calm? How do we trust that everything’s going to be okay when there’s so much that we don’t know? How do we stay connected to our support systems when it’s highly recommended that we isolate ourselves from the very groups and activities that bring us joy, a sense of belonging, serenity, and calm: our book club, health club, yoga class, restaurants, cafes, and bars, our therapist’s office, places of spiritual worship? What can we do when we can’t do what we would do to keep ourselves grounded and feeling safe now that there’s so much turmoil and confusion all around us? So much fear. So much we simply don’t know.
That’s a big question.
What would it be like if you simply started with the attitude that there is so much that no one knows? Could you trust yourself to adapt to the coming changes? You are already doing that. Each one of us in our own way. Can you accept that you are as prepared as you can be? For now? Aren’t you, already? How much more toilet paper do you need? Allow yourself to trust that for now, you are doing the best that you can. And that when more is required of you, you will be able to step up. But for right now, you may need to simply rest into trusting that this is as much as you can do. For now.
What would it be like if instead of fearing feeling alone in our Corona virus isolations, we allowed ourselves to explore a deeper connection to our friends and loved ones, and to the people of the world,
Because we are all going through this together.
Allow yourself to think of someone far away, or isolated in the next apartment over, and simply feel connected to them because you are thinking of them. Can you feel that in your body? In your heart? What is that like for you? Can you trust it’s a real connection if you both aren’t physically present in the same location? What might it be like to trust that it is? It may help you to feel more calm, more connected to your loved ones. This could be a good thing to practice on a regular basis! Especially as we “shelter in place” and find ourselves separated from our support communities. But even beyond this crisis, it could be a good thing to get used to doing:
Trust that we are connected even when we are physically apart.
Could the Corona virus pandemic holds gifts for the world in disguise?
Many traditions, including Jungian psychology, encourage us to look at obstacles as opportunities. Jungians call it Confronting Your Shadow. That is, being willing to look at things we don’t know about ourselves which we fear and project onto others. Like self-serving attitudes greed, polarized opinions, an unwillingness to compromise. Of course, we don’t like it when our adversaries exhibit these qualities! But could those same qualities be true about us? Maybe just a little? Why are we so angry that they won’t agree with us? Probably because we are also self-serving, eager to have things go our way, unswerving in our knowledge that our opinion and only our opinion is the right one!
On the other hand, if we step back and dare to look at our negative judgments, do our best to embrace it as something also true about ourselves, we develop psychologically. We differentiate. We become less judgmental,more humane, more open to differences. We fear less. We become capable of having compassion for others who strongly demonstrate qualities we would prefer to reject. And it is through that compassion we become more aware that we are all in the process of learning how to be in this world. Together for better or for worse, NOW. In this way we can approach even the most fearsome challenges as though they are dark mirrors in which to look deep inside ourselves and ask, What am I learning from this? What do I need to learn about myself that I am not seeing? How will this new knowledge help me navigate current and future obstacles more successfully? Who do I really want to be at the end of the day? Probably not just like the people whose attitudes and behavior I find so offensive!
Sometimes Shadow can be a positive aspect that we aren’t aware of.
Is there a positive Shadow to the COVID-19 pandemic?
Sheltering in place means less rushing around, less hectic focus on driving places, being seen doing work, going out to eat, cramming in a trip to the gym, producing and consuming things. More focus on what it is to be at home. Just at home. With family. Walking the dog around the block. More emphasis on the simple needs of life, like healthy food, and… toilet paper.
Social distancing doesn’t have to mean not staying connected. Many of us, even us older folks, are learning to download and use new technologies so as to be able to see and connect with clients, family, and friends, one-on-one and in groups. Sheltering in place gives us more time to learn these new skills and to make calls and connections perhaps we have been putting off!
Fear of contagion has caused vastly cleaner air quality in places where entire cities and communities have sent people home, shut down the factories, halted transportation, closed restaurants, bars, theaters, sporting events.
Maybe this pandemic is an opportunity for mankind, all humans on Earth, to recognize the dire straits our planet is in. Maybe it’s a manifestation of the unstoppable disease industrialization and runaway use of fossil fuels has inflicted on Earth. Maybe this pandemic is an opportunity for us to see the bigger picture benefits of staying put, living more simply, connecting with our voices, our hearts, our inner knowing instead of driving places constantly to meet-up, or flying across the country for a weekend visit with a friend. Maybe this pandemic’s silver lining is that we will finally wake up and see that it takes time to heal a planet or a person; from a mysterious, or not so mysterious affliction.
Here’s a poem a friend shared with me:
Pandemic
What if you thought of it
as the Jews consider the Sabbath–
the most sacred of times?
Cease from travel.
Cease from buying and selling.
Give up, just for now,
on trying to make the world
different than it is.
Sing. Pray. Touch only those
to whom you commit your life.
Center down.
And when your body has become still,
reach out with your heart.
Know that we are connected
in ways that are terrifying and beautiful.
(You could hardly deny it now.)
Know that our lives
are in one another’s hands.
(Surely, that has come clear.)
Do not reach out your hands.
Reach out your heart.
Reach out your words.
Reach out all the tendrils
of compassion that move, invisibly,
where we cannot touch.
Promise this world your love—
for better or for worse,
in sickness and in health,
so long as we all shall live.
–Lynn Ungar 3/11/20