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Introduction to my Five Step Process for Enhancing Intimacy
Once a relationship becomes stuck in oppositional and defensive behavior patterns it can be challenging to re-open to intimacy and romance. Couples counseling can help a couple re-ignite feelings of tenderness for each other. Even so, repairing a relationship that has grown contentious is a complex and sensitive process. It can be slow work! But the good news is: It is NOT impossible!
As a therapist, I regularly assist couples whose relationship has become stuck in adversarial behavior patterns to re-connect to the love they thought was lost and open up to a renewed closeness and romance with each other. Through this work, I have developed a Five Step Process for re-kindling intimacy, enhancing romance, and returning to a mutually loving and caring relationship with each other. My Five Step Process includes suggestions and strategies you can use on your own or with the help of a therapist. You can use some of them, or all of them. You don’t have to do the process in order. However, to achieve lasting results rebuilding a relationship that has become mired in patterns of negativity, I suggest you start from the beginning and work your way from Step 1 –Step 5.
My full Five Step Process can be summarized as follows:
- Step 1 involves letting go of past grievances
- Step 2 helps you to appreciate what you love about your partner
- Step 3 focuses on opening up to compliments and offers strategies for learning to believe those compliments when we’re not used to it
- Step 4 reminds you to set realistic expectations in the process of relating to each other in a mutually loving and caring manner
- Step 5 blends all of the above efforts together and encourages you to build on your positive experiences with each other, no matter how small!
Each of the steps contains insights into why we may be responding defensively as well as suggestions and strategies for making small changes that can add up to big differences in how we perceive ourselves and our partners in a committed relationship.
Sometimes, our partner is not willing to address making changes directly. Sometimes, one partner is not willing to go to therapy, let alone follow a Five Step Process for enhancing anything! That’s okay! If even only one of you chooses to adopt the strategies and insights I am suggesting, I assure you – your relationship will begin to change! The process will be a lot slower! But it will change!
In this Blog entry, I include Step 1: Letting Go of Past Grievances. Subsequent Blogs will include the other Steps. Or, you can go to my website www.KathrynBikle.com and read all of them at once!
I hope you find my Five Step Process helpful!
All the best!
Kathryn
©2014 Kathryn Bikle. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced or used on other websites without permission of the author.